I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
