if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
