Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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