we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
