Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
