i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
