i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
