my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
