Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We have started to decorate penises.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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