im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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