We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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