Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
