tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
God I need to hump something, right now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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