no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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