So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
