There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
