sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
