He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
