Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
