So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
