im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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