'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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