i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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