i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the day after is always just damage control
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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