You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
