I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
