Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
