Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
