Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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