we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
