Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its about making memories worth repressing
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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