and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
we should paint friendship bongs
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