Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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