no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Your penis caused this!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
