I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
