Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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