Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize