How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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