We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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