I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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