the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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