Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
