I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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