I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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