If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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