There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
