I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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