After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
