The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
