HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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