I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
