glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
