I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I want to make a zoo with you.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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